Dear Postpartum Body

Dear Postpartum Body,
Please work out your differences with my prepartum body. Put your running shoes on. I'll see you on the street!
Love,
Stinky Pete

PS: I spent a small fortune on new running shoes and inserts. Let this be your motivation.

My Hips Don't Lie

The imminent birth of a child during pregnancy is enough to make this grown woman cry (every day on the way to work). I mean really, it's just pretty spectacular. I've really enjoyed the whole pregnancy idea that my body is working over time to help our Creator co-create this infant. I'm amazed at how quickly cells divide and multiply. It makes me faint to think of a little heart beginning to beat. It feels pretty remarkable to be a part of what seems like a miracle.

And they warn you about the bad stuff...the swollen feet, the nausea, the food aversions, the unsolicited advice, scary stories, etc. But, never in my life did anyone tell me about the hip pain, the rib pain, the heartburn, the feet burning, the arms tingling, and the stuffy nose. No one mentions these things. If I lie in bed long enough my hips begin to ache like I'm being torn apart at the legs. The heartburn creeps up and then my runny nose seeps down and they meet in my throat causing the most insatiable desire to eat ice cream and tums. I jump out of bed for the third time each night and my left foot fights a stabbing pain caused by plantar fascitis. I take a deep breath, blow my nose, hold my back, and waddle to the bathroom.

I just wonder if some men have to convince their wives to have unprotected sex ever again. I mean really.

I'm baaacckkk

I know, it's been way too long. Here is a video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eoaTl7IcFs8&feature=player_embedded#

I'm six months pregnant and pretty excited about the little one. Just in time for today's post, I've come up with 10 things that surprise me about being pregnant.

10. It hurts. Everything hurts...my feet, my belly, my back....sometimes even places I hate to mention hurt. I told Mr. Pete that sometimes it feels like I'm pooping glass. Sorry for the details but I just went there. No one told me that everything would hurt like this all at once.

9. Every one has a terrible birthing story. Even men.

8. People go crazy for babies, spend lots of money on lots of stuff that takes up lots of room, and they can still buy more stuff.

7. There are a lot of dos and don'ts. Don't eat soft cheese, do get extra folic acid. Don't lift heavy objects, do work out. Don't....

6. Did I mention things hurt ALL the time. I feel like I'm breaking.

5. The sleep deprivation begins early. Mr. Pete's alarm clock went off today at 5:00 AM and I was already awake and could not go back to sleep.

4. People are very protective of pregnant women. You should see my students falling all over themselves trying to take care of me.

3. Babies grow very fast. One day it's an embryo and the next it's the size of an eggplant.

2. Everyone will tell you how big or small they think you look. This is never OK and never flattering.

1. It's pretty darn exciting despite some of the obvious drawbacks to being pregnant.

Is it baby time?

Yeah, if you got all jazzed up reading the title of this post...you're in trouble along with the three other people (who by the way don't know me well) who asked me today when I was going to have a baby (and one of them was a medical professional). This is an awkward question, one that is sensitive in nature, and frankly, is annoying. THREE PEOPLE asked me today. Yesterday, someone was concerned about a possible baby bump (that doesn't exist).

Miss Manners Public Service Annoucement Break: People, people this is inappropriate. DON'T ASK ANYONE IF THEY ARE PREGNANT EVERRRRRRRRRR. I remember once in the cafeteria at Xavier University, my good friend was accosted by the cafeteria worker about being pregnant. Now at 19, that's really annoying.

I have some suspicions about why people are so curious.
A) I think they really want me to experience the joys of childbearing
B) They really just want a common topic to discuss
C) They are thinking about getting pregnant and want to talk about it with me

Whatever the case may be, it makes me paranoid. I keep thinking...'maybe I am pregnant.' I'M NOT. And if it appears that I have a baby bump, it's the Adriaticos' pizza that Mr. Pete ordered that was meant to feed a frat house. Oh, and if it appears that I'm glowing, it's the morning workouts. Your cheeks would be red too if you worked out outside when it was 32 degrees. Oh, and if I seem unusually cranky, it's because so many darn people keep asking me about having a dang baby!!!!!

PS: I actually really love children but don't feel the need to disclose my baby making timeline to the public.

PPSS: If you were really excited and thought you'd see some glowing ultrasound pictures in this post...sorry if I disappointed you. Kind of.