Oh yeah, what did you do today?

$100 the price it probably costs to hire a substitute when I stay home from school after a sleepless headache-filled night

$75 the cost of towing a broken down Stella Scooter approximately one mile after the clutch went out

$11 the cost of having a new-er tire put on to my Honda Civic after I ran into a curb in a sketchy part of town while searching for Mr. Pete

$19.99 the cost of a car charger for Mr. Pete's chocolate phone---he should use said charger so that he is not say, stranded on the side of the road with a broken down scooter while his wife is risking her life (read running into curbs) trying to find him

$2.00 the price of yesterday's paper that the woman at the Shell station sold me while I was waiting for my friend Brad to come help me rescue Mr. Pete

$20 the cost of eye drops for pinkeye

$9.99 Aloo Choley from Baba India for two to remedy the wounded souls of this day

Being at home on the couch =priceless

Wow

It's a pretty cool day in history. Don't worry, high school students can totally muck up one of the coolest days of all time in my life. I overheard one students commenting about how now we'll have reverse racism. She said, "They are even going to paint the White House black."

One a very positive note, many of my students celebrated sheer enthusiasm. I couldn't be more proud of them or of our country. Today at least.

God's Politics

(is a great book by the way)

I've had some rousing conversations with my colleagues during lunch as the election fever continues. Some colleagues have reported emails from members of their church and small group telling them their judgment is muddled because of the candidate they are choosing to vote for. One person even accused her of being deceived by the "evil one."

In times like these I'm reminded of a quote I read in the book titled God's Politics. It's a quote by Abraham Lincoln and I believe it's a quote from a crucial point of the Civil War. He said:

“Sir, my concern is not whether God is on our side; my greatest concern is to be on God's side, for God is always right”

In light of this race between another senator from Illinois and "the maverick" I'm wondering just how things will turn out tomorrow morning (or by next week). I just hope people stop to think about the freedom we have in getting to vote. No matter who wins this election, we'll be in for a change. That's fo sho!

If teaching were like football....

• Teachers would be well-paid and have an extensive wardrobe of school spirit attire
• We could call a time out to get our acts together
• Our accountability would be to our fans...who would pay money to see us flex our best and would cheer for us when we were successful and boo for us when we were losing
• They would play cool warm up music for us before the school day started
• We could tackle people who got in our way!
• Parent/Teacher conferences would be like a bowl game and I would always win

Mr. Pete and I attended our first NFL game today. It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining, the football players were talented, and the Chipotle was...pretty good.

Is it baby time?

Yeah, if you got all jazzed up reading the title of this post...you're in trouble along with the three other people (who by the way don't know me well) who asked me today when I was going to have a baby (and one of them was a medical professional). This is an awkward question, one that is sensitive in nature, and frankly, is annoying. THREE PEOPLE asked me today. Yesterday, someone was concerned about a possible baby bump (that doesn't exist).

Miss Manners Public Service Annoucement Break: People, people this is inappropriate. DON'T ASK ANYONE IF THEY ARE PREGNANT EVERRRRRRRRRR. I remember once in the cafeteria at Xavier University, my good friend was accosted by the cafeteria worker about being pregnant. Now at 19, that's really annoying.

I have some suspicions about why people are so curious.
A) I think they really want me to experience the joys of childbearing
B) They really just want a common topic to discuss
C) They are thinking about getting pregnant and want to talk about it with me

Whatever the case may be, it makes me paranoid. I keep thinking...'maybe I am pregnant.' I'M NOT. And if it appears that I have a baby bump, it's the Adriaticos' pizza that Mr. Pete ordered that was meant to feed a frat house. Oh, and if it appears that I'm glowing, it's the morning workouts. Your cheeks would be red too if you worked out outside when it was 32 degrees. Oh, and if I seem unusually cranky, it's because so many darn people keep asking me about having a dang baby!!!!!

PS: I actually really love children but don't feel the need to disclose my baby making timeline to the public.

PPSS: If you were really excited and thought you'd see some glowing ultrasound pictures in this post...sorry if I disappointed you. Kind of.

Grocery List

My Grocery List

• brown sugar
• dish soap
• maple syrup
• flour
• cereal

Mr. Pete's Grocery List

• strawberry Qwick
• Ice cream
• Ice cream toppings
• pepperoni

Emails I Will Never Send

TO: americanvoters@lazyvoters.com
FROM: Stinky Pete
CC:
RE: Uhm vote

Dear Voters,
Once upon a time I did not vote in a presidential election when I was able to. This election was very close and resulted in some minor problems for our country (No Child Left Behind, the wars everywhere, other crazy things). I didn't vote because I didn't educate myself on the issues.

I don't want to use this opportunity to endorse the candidate I like. I'd just like to persuade you to vote. Period. Educate yourself about the issues. Our president really does make HUGE decisions that will change the fate of our nation. Check out this post at No Pasa Nada. Your vote really does matter.

Sincerely,

Stinky Pete


TO: pita@pita.org*
FROM: Mrs. Stinky Pete (your English teacher)
CC: the powers that be
RE: getting kicked out of class

Dear Disruptive Student,

Today, when you were talking about what shoes you were going to buy this weekend and I told you to be quiet, I meant it. I meant it the other five times I told you to be quiet and to sit down and to work on your classwork and to not touch her hair and to please put your chips away and to not yell in that tone of voice and to please respect school property. I mean all those things. And then, when I kicked you out of class, I didn't think it was funny. In fact, I kind of wanted to cry. See I think you teenagers are the future of our nation and it scares me that you don't take your education seriously (especially since it's free to you). I really appreciate your sense of humor but don't think I'll laugh when I get our school report card and feel really guilty that more of my students didn't pass.

Sincerely,
Mrs. Pete

PS: Bring your literature book to class tomorrow for once!

*It's either pita like the bread or the abbreviation for Pain In The Ass

TO: Fitworksgym.com
FROM: Stinky Pete
CC: My husband
RE: Gym membership

Dear Fitworks,
I know you probably don't remember me, I haven't been to the gym in over a month. I have lots of good excuses about how my dog ate my gym card and how my right pinky muscle has really been bothering me but I realize those are unacceptable. I'm really thinking I should consider cancelling my membership but can't do it out of principal. I'm one of those workout freaks who knows she will work out since she pays for the membership.

So, please be patient with me until I return. Oh, and save me the nice elliptical machine for when my pinky muscle heals up. I really like the one you can work out on without getting frozen by the fan and really close to the drinking fountain since I just had a kidney stone. That's another reason I haven't been to the gym.

Smell ya later,
Stinky Pete

TO: sweetlittleneighbors@it'sabeautifuldayintheneighborhood.com
FROM: Stinky Pete
CC:
RE: the noise

Dear Neighbor,
I really appreciate you and love you and all but please don't put your dog outside to bark starting at 5:30 AM. I still have fifteen more minutes I can sleep and I'd really love to enjoy those precious moments. So keep Fido inside until at least 6:00 AM or else....

Sincerely,
Sleepy Pete