Geeper Creepers

I'm sitting on hold with the vision insurance division of our insurance company while they try to wriggle me out of a $68 bill for something that I shouldn't be paying for. I'm listening to fake classical music hoping that my insurance representative is ripping the eye care "professional" a new bum hole.

Ten years ago, I stumbled out of my local Lenscrafters with a slight prescription for nearsightedness. Now as I near the age of thirty unable to read street signs or computer screens without my glasses or contacts and I'm constantly sticking my fingers into my stigmatized eyes with the latest and greatest in contact lens technology. Don't get me wrong, contacts are amazing. But just like ever thing else these days, solution is a bloody fortune (a $17 bottle of the premium stuff for allergy prone folks like me lasts a little over a month). And while glasses are all the rage (I mean Tori Spelling wears them), there's just a lot to them. It's tough to run a marathon while your sporting your artsy black plastic million dollar please-don't-let-these-fall-off-and into the oncoming traffic specs.

And with contacts...you should have to have a license to own those suckers. Cleaning and disinfecting, remembering to take them out before you sleep, realizing that you can't open your eyes underwater when you're wearing them.... Add in the fact that I'm prone to pinkeye, have eye dandruff (eww, but really it exists), and have dry eyes to boot; contacts are just a huge pain the butt and in the wallet.

My insurance company just called me in the middle of this post to tell me that they will not pay nor will they have me pay the price the eye care professional is asking me to pay. There was talk of supervisors and official reports and all kinds of crazy things.

Really this is just a post about how if I wasn't a teacher with the summers off, I'd totally have to pay the $300 in illegitimate bills because I wouldn't have time to sit on the phone during business hours to listen to fake classical music (while running up my cellphone bill).